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About Varied / Hobbyist Premium Member Isabel/SabelOther/United States Recent Activity
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Ive been wanting to write something of this sort for a while but never felt comfortable doing it. Now that enough time has passed, I finally think I can. :) 

In January of this year, (I hardly shared it with any online friends, I'll explain why later) I had easily the darkest hour of my life. For two days straight I shook and cried every waking moment. I constantly felt sick, I remember I couldn't eat. At one point I just screamed violently because it was all I could do. The reason for all this was because very suddenly the weight of death crashed down upon me. No one in my life had died recently, I just realized that someday I, myself, will be dead. 
It never bothered me before. I always saw death as being fine. I never thought much about the afterlife or lack of. It just felt safe and sure that everything would be okay.
in January, really out of nowhere, suddenly it wasn't okay. Death was cold and disgusting and it made the pit of my stomach constantly hurt. I literally could only think about dying, how time my was running out, and how my last moments would likely be suffering in a nursing home. 
That was the first time in my life I seriously considered suicide. The sickness I was feeling became to much. Everything triggered the awful feeling, even things I normally enjoyed. Talking about it would make me cry too. Ultimately I just wanted out, even if it was through dying. 

But, obviously I didn't die. I pushed through for weeks until I could enjoy bits of life again. It took about 4 months and therapy before I was truly better. It felt like I was waiting years before I could be happy again.

But see? I made it. I can't emphasize enough how horrible it was, but I didn't kill myself. I'm really proud that I was able to triumph over my misery instead of letting it destroy me. It's led me to belive that others can too. Not that I think suicide is always wrong, but I think people give up on themselves too soon. It took so long before I wanted to live again. I functioned normally after a week but everything was empty. The emptiness feels gross, but once you get past it you won't belive how wonderful life starts to be. 

Now, I'm back to seeing death as a whimsical, lovely thing. It's not depressing, it's like sleeping but better. I have my own perception of an afterlife, and I'm comfortable with it. A friend of mine who had a similar struggle turned to religion, and that's wonderful that it helps her, but I can't help but be proud that I got better my own way. If you struggle with this, I think you can too. 

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Goblin-Beast
Isabel/Sabel
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States
My ID was a gift from the lovely DaemoniumNocturnal.:heart: See the original here: daemoniumnocturnal.deviantart.…

Hello! :'D I'm Sabel or Isabel, and I've come here to share with you my pixilated horror fan art.
So please, enjoy my gallery!
Don't worry, I wont bite. I'm quite a friendly creature that's only here to share my artwork and make friends. :meow:

I love older & classic horror/thriller films. So that's mainly what you'll find art of here. There's a bit of other fanarts of various fandom's mixed in there too. ;D
Somtimes I'll create original stuff, just not too often.

...

:iconphantomoftheoperaplz: , :iconfreddyplz: , :iconleatherfaceplz: , :iconmichaelmyersplz: , :iconjamegumbplz: , :iconpeteburnsplz: = :iconovariesplz:


Current Residence: I live in Freddy Krueger's boiler room whenever I'm in town, I have a nice summer home in Texas with some cannibals, but mostly i live in the north woods.
Favourite genre of music: Metal/Hard rock/alternative/classical
Favourite style of art: Dark/surreal/comical
Skin of choice: The kind you rip off of someone and wear on your face! :D
Personal quote: "If there's one thing I know like the back of my hand, It's Charles Dance's face."
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:iconthe-greengoblin:
The-GreenGoblin Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
thanks for the :+fav: :meow:
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:icongoblin-beast:
Goblin-Beast Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Sure thing! :D
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:iconmrs-myers:
Mrs-Myers Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2015   Artist
*tackles your face off* Wanna help me write a Miggy story eve
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:icongoblin-beast:
Goblin-Beast Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
:'O yaaaaas 
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:iconmrs-myers:
Mrs-Myers Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2015   Artist
Yaaaaay!
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:icongoblin-beast:
Goblin-Beast Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
;3; 
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(1 Reply)
:iconshadowhunter625:
Shadowhunter625 Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I always like looking through your favs, they've almost always got a picture I like!
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:icongoblin-beast:
Goblin-Beast Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
:> 
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:iconshadowhunter625:
Shadowhunter625 Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Soooo, can we continue our RPs? They're starting to get really good! (Caligula probably just made one of the worst ways to die in Creatures of Blood. That was just gnarly XD )
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:icongoblin-beast:
Goblin-Beast Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Malakai stepped it up too. ;P
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